Some of you have read my self-published book Learning To Jump Again, which started as a personal journal of grief after my father died. I eventually made it public in hopes that it could help others as they grieve the loss of a loved one.
Within that book were some poems, for better or worse.
When my friend Avery introduced me to the AI music-making website Suno, those poems definitely changed for the better.
I altered some of the language of the original poems to get a more singable cadence; in some, I added a chorus. In the process, I tried to find a soundtrack that matched the mood in my head.
Here is the third one (the first one is here; the second one is here.).
What follows is the updated poem/lyrics, followed by a link to Suno if you care to listen.
"I Hardened My Heart On A Thursday"I hardened my heart on a Thursday;
I had to drive south through the night.
Friday morning Mom’s hug broke it open,
But since then it’s been pretty tight.
I shut down my eyes on that Saturday,
The viewing did not need more tears.
That Sunday I shut them much tighter,
And now I’ve been squinting for years.
With a shovel, I buried my father that Monday,
On Tuesday, without one, I buried him more.
When on Wednesday we drove home, heading North, back to normal ,
Now the drive to be healed is a chisel;
Father Time lends strength to each blow.
And I’m digging my way through my soul, to the core,
With a shovel, I buried my father that Monday,
On Tuesday, without one, I buried him more.
When on Wednesday we drove home, heading North, back to normal
I buried his memory deep in my core.
Every layer I lift from my memories
Stirs the dust on the ache in my chest.
What I buried to keep myself steady
Now demands to be held and confessed.
And somewhere below all the rubble and stone,
There’s a son who is yearning to rest.
With a shovel, I buried my father that Monday,
On Tuesday, without one, I buried him more.
When on Wednesday we drove home, heading North, back to normal
I buried his memory deep in my core.
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